I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
