New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
