I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
