Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
