I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
