he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Randomize
