You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
