He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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