i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
