using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My bed smells like the plague
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
