Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
