Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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