wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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