Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
