North Korea, Best Korea!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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