I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
