No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
