I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
