I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
