remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
