How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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