I wish they made helmets for livers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize