Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my poor anus
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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