The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
