I must be too annoying 4 u.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
