here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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