operation harelip BJ is a go
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
