this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
