Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
