Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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