nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
handjob tips. give me some.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
