shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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