I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Fuck appropriateness.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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