I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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