i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
