I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
