I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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