so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
