Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
