I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
