You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
