so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
