come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
