for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
