He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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