now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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