Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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