What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dick very happy bro
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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