Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
