my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
