You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
