he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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